Me. In Pictures.

I'd seen this on a couple of other blogs and thought that it was very interesting. So, I am jumping on the bandwagon. The way it works: Answer the 12 questions below and then type each answer into a Flickr search. Take one of the pictures that comes up for your word and paste it into the mosaic maker at:

http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/

Then, when you're finished, post it for the world to see you in pictures! Here are the questions:

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you attend?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One word to describe you.
12. Your Flickr name.






1. Van Dyke: Allison, after Picasso, 2. Homemade Pepperoni Pizza, 3. Homestead High School, 4. Verde no Aquarius, 5. Harrison Ford, 6. 8pm landscape, 7. The Night City, 8. kahlua chocolate mousse, 9. Young student with his teacher, 10. return for refund., 11. eyes so tender, 12. Going Up And Down

I do find it hilarious, that the picture for #10 was found on my search for Husband's name (as he is the thing I love most in the world). Return for refund... hmmm. :)

Fumbling Towards a Change

Hello friends. I'm so sorry it has been a while since I last posted. In truth, I have been pretty darned busy and blogging definitely fell out of the limelight and into the background.

What was I up to?

I threw a successful and fun shower and bachelorette party for my best friend last weekend. I was pretty consumed by making sure that everything went well and in addition to that, Husband and I had been entertaining houseguests for basically the entire week previous. Needless to say, the combination of those two things left little time for anything personal.

But, the guests have all left, and the party has been thrown, and Husband and I are looking forward to a blissfully open weekend (aside from one family get-together on Saturday afternoon). A little "down-time" is definitely in order.

In addition to these little events, I have also been feeling a larger event in the making deep inside of my heart. For a long time now I have been struggling with making the transition into being the best version of me possible. Although I know that becoming the best you can be takes a lifetime and is probably never really accomplished (because we are just human, after all), I have felt on the brink of making a huge stride in the right direction for some time now.

I have spoken before on this blog about my deep affection for all living creatures. I do indeed have very intense feelings about animal rights and about fighting cruelty and about becoming closer with nature and the Earth, but I realized the other day that I'm being a total poser. Yes, my feelings are legitimate, but I'm not really doing anything about them. The most overwhelming part of the realization was the fact that I had never even thought about that before. It had never really occurred to me that all of my rambling and my hurt feelings and my love for my dogs meant basically nothing on a larger scale.

I needed to take action.

So, I started. I decided first to begin replacing all of my beauty/hygiene products with ones made from natural ingredients by companies who conduct no animal testing. Because I wasn't sure who these companies were, I went looking (where else?) on the internet. I found a website called http://www.caringconsumer.com/ and another (which I found the most helpful and easiest to use) at http://www.navs.org/site/PageServer?pagename=ain_pt_whois. The Caring Consumer page is run by PETA and gives a list of all the companies that do and do not conduct animal testing. The second page is run by the National Anti-Vivisection Society and allows you to search by company or product to see if they are using animals for research there.

I was surprised both by how many companies have shunned the practice and by how many companies still refuse to see the light. The truth is that there are many ways of testing beauty and household products that do not rely on dropping chemicals into the eyes of a bunny. Companies that carry on these practices DO NOT NEED THEM. They are completely without merit and oblivious to the plight of the poor creatures trapped in their labs. Yes, some animal testing is required by law, and although I do not like it, I do understand that when a new medicine is released testing on animals can show the possible side-effects that might mean death for those taking it. Companies that do this type of testing are required to do so by the government, so my beef is not really with them. What I am protesting here is the fact that animals are losing their lives because I want to wear make-up. It's a simple and as ridiculous as that.

I urge you all to consider going to one of the websites above to check out which of your purchases are involved in this atrocious practice. You may be pleasantly surprised that you already buy products that are created by enlightened companies. For example, make-up companies like Almay, Revlon, Bath and Body Works, Bare Escentuals, and Smashbox are all created without the use of animal testing. However, companies like Cover Girl, Procter and Gamble, Aveeno, Johnson and Johnson, Neutrogena and many many others are still employing this barbaric technique.

Another line of products that are easy to replace are your household cleaners. This one is a little bit tougher as almost every single cleaning product that is commonly used is created by one or two archaic corporations that refuse to give up their lab rats. However, please keep in mind that not only are these types of products hurting defenseless creatures, they are also hurting all of us by polluting our Earth and ruining our natural water sources. You can check out the lists, but if you use Windex, Clorox, Tide, Pledge, or any of their associated products (plus TONS more) you already own an Earth polluting, animal abusing product. And I'm not trying to make you feel bad about it - I personally have all of those products in my house (much to my dismay).

The important thing to remember is that there are alternatives, lots actually. It may take you an extra trip to a different store, but there are a lot of Earth-friendly, natural cleaning products that are also never tested on an animal of any sort. The products I plan to purchase are found at my local Target store (and I'm pretty sure can be found at any Target):



Method, Inc is an AWESOME company that uses totally natural, biodegradable ingredients and has never participated in animal testing. They are very down-to-earth and all of their products are very reasonably priced. Some other suggestions I've received for similar types of products are Holy Cow, Ecover, and Third Generation. I know that Holy Cow can be found at several grocery chains and Walgreens.

The last bit of change I'm making for now is cutting back the amount of meat I eat. This is not just for purely cruelty-related issues. This decision is actually primarily based on the environment. The meat industry in this country is one of the single largest contributors to environmental issues - not to mention the fact that we could be feeding our country and others much more efficiently if we were using our land for raising crops rather than cattle.

True, if I were totally prepared for this endeavor, I would cut meat altogether. But I'm trying to take my Dad's advice and make "little changes that will stick rather than drastic ones that won't." I do see myself hopefully cutting meat completely from my diet altogether (as this is what my heart is telling me to do) but my head knows that 26 years of meat-eating won't be easy to break. So, rather than eat meat every day of the week, I'm going to cut down to 2-3 times a week.

Also, when I am purchasing meat I am doing my best to search for organic, free range chickens that have not spent their lives in a tiny cage with half their beaks cut off (which is actually what they do). It may be a couple dollars more expensive (example: I paid $15 for four organic chicken breasts at the store, while their non-organic counterparts would have cost me $12)but that price is worth it to me, if it means that the animal was able to live a more natural life before its death. I have also been buying the free-range, vegetarian eggs for quite some time and have been paying attention to which milk brands do not use hormones in their cattle. There are lots of options out there, so if these causes are near to your heart they way they are to mine, very few sacrifices have to be made in order to make a difference.

I apologize if I seem like I'm on my soapbox, but my mind has really been consumed lately with the fact that our environment and our world really are in trouble. We hear it all the time, but we do need to wake up and begin doing our part to ensure that future generations have a viable planet to live on. What's most exciting for me is that I get to establish a lifestyle now that I can pass on to my kids (when I hopefully have them). It is our human responsibility to take care of our planet and the creatures that inhabit it. We may have been given dominion over it by God, but that does not mean we have the right to disrespect the Earth or its inhabitants or to bend them to our will. We have a responsibility for their well-being. We are the only ones who can turn our behavior around, and I'm quickly learning that just a few small changes from all of us is the way to begin doing just that.

Thank you for reading. And please consider looking into some of these things for yourself. They are terribly important, and we would really be doing future generations a disservice if we continue on the way we are. I sincerely hope you are all having a great week so far, and I'll be sure to update you along the way of this journey. I'm certain it won't be entirely simple, but for once in my life, I feel like I'm really heading in the right direction.

Kurt Vonnegut once wrote, "Life is no way to treat an animal." And even though I used to agree, I really think that with some hard work, we can prove him wrong.

water,boat,blue

I stole this idea from Slouching Mom. She linked to a picture and you were supposed to write down the first three words that popped into your head and then use those three words in a memoir-style story. Obviously, I am not creative with my word choices. But I do find the stream-of-consciousness style and the place my brain went naturally interesting. Do we all have a penchant to go straight for the melodramatic? Thought provoking stuff, kids.

I suppose it was silly to get on this stupid boat. I was naive to think that just the act of climbing on a cruise ship would help me to relax. When, in truth, my anxiety has been worse than ever. But, oh, how they encouraged me!

"You really should take a vacation, Julie."

Right. Like a vacation is going to solve my problems. Like all my issues would just suddenly melt away as soon as I sat down in a deck chair. Like they would vanish as soon as I gazed out on all that blue water.

The cabin is nice enough, I guess. And I haven't gotten sea-sick yet. And there is an open bar with which to attempt to dull the ache of worry. But, it isn't exactly what I was promised.

No, it's not what I was promised at all. I was promised surrender. I was promised relaxation. I was promised that something about this stupid experience would help me to forget the fear clutching at my heart each time I hear a strange noise at night. I was told that a little fun in the sun would help to erase that feeling, and the memory of him standing over me, and the realization that I just might die.

No, not what I was promised at all.

Back in Action!

Hello dear readers!

Welp, I'm back from the ole vacation and am finally caught up enough with work, life, and all that junk to remind you all of my existence.

Aren't you glad? :)

The vacation was a lot of fun aside from a serious case of car-sickness that occurred just as we were about to view one of the most gorgeous national parks I've ever seen. (Good timing is not my forte). But, all the nausea aside, it was a wonderful time. I gambled a bit in Vegas and even won a bit of money on the video poker machines at Paris - which was a cool feeling.

Husband and I were both very ready to get home and see our boys, so waiting for our 5:00 PM flight home from Vegas on Friday was torture, but it was definitely all worth it for the fun that was had. I'll try to post some pictures when I have them handy.

In other news: I saw this today and just can't help but share it with all of you... personally, I laughed my ass off because I swear that the content of this video is ALL I can remember from Little House on the Prairie. Seriously.



And for any Aussie friends who may be reading who seem to NEVER be able to see my videos, this one's on www.youtube.com under the title "The 30 Second Little House: I'll be Waving as You Drive Away."

Love it.

You're Welcome, In Advance...

OH MY GOD, YES!

I just discovered this today (thanks to Pink is the New Blog) and it is some of the craziest, funniest shit I've ever had the pleasure to see. Plus, there are unicorns in it. Enough said.

PLANET UNICORN!

This is just the first installment. So, visit them at Planet Unicorn to see more!

Vacation Situation

Well, dear readers, in less than one week, I will be here:




And then, here:



And I am totally excited. Husband and I will be traveling with his parents and another couple to the expansive frontier of the West. We are anxiously awaiting our departure this weekend, and I am trying my best to fend off any creeping sense of anxiety. It always happens, but I'm trying to control it as best as I can.

Am I alone here? I know a lot of people get nervous when they leave the house, but I feel almost ill whenever I lock the door and leave our pups behind to go out of town. Even though I am excited for the trip and know that it will be wonderful, I still have these overwhelming feelings of fear that something will go wrong and I will not be there to help or stop it.

It's possible I should be medicated. Very possible.

But I just can't bring myself to do it. I have taken medication for depression before, but have since learned that my depressive tendencies are almost purely situational, and because of that, I am not a prime candidate for medical help. But, this anxiety thing seems to be happening more and more frequently, and I am having trouble controlling it on my own.

I despise feeling powerless. And this damn issue makes me feel that way. I feel terrified and nervous. I feel like I want to miss the fun and turn around and go home. I feel like all the precautions I have taken are not enough. I feel sure that our house will burn down and the boys will be stuck inside. I just feel like crap.

Any tips? As I said before, I know that this is a common feeling when people are going on vacation, so maybe someone out there has some advice or a similar experience to share... if not, that's ok too. I have left town before, and can do it again. I guess I'm just wishing that it would be a bit easier.

On a much happier note: I am actually supremely pumped for this trip and am confident that once we land in fabulous Las Vegas I will be ready to flay my wallet and drop some cashola on the old roulette wheel. Who knows, maybe I'll even win something. Or I'll just jinx myself by blogging about winning something and come home poor.

PS: I have also decided that in addition to my successful bringing back of the word "rad" (Successful is defined here as, "I use it regularly and get weird looks/reactions") I am going to be endeavoring to bring back the phrase "Sufferin' Succotash."

Yeah, I'm rad. Spread it around.

Revelations

So, I just had a shocking revelation the other day. No, really. It was shocking.

My best friend is getting married on July 4th. When she and her husband-to-be got engaged last year, she called me to not only tell me the good news, but to ask me to be her maid of honor. Of course, I said, "Yes!" I truly believe it is a great honor to be asked to stand in someone's wedding, and so I felt all the more honored to know that among all the honor already flying around, I was going to be honored extra! (and now I can't write that word without pronouncing it "Hoe-norde")

I was touched and very pleased, to say the least.

Anyway, I was planning my own nuptials at the time and promised her that as soon as all the shenanigans with that were over, I would turn my attention full force to her big day. Then, the holidays happened. Then, New Year's happened. Then our dog got surgery. Then we went to Jamaica for work. Then we tried to relax a little bit. Needless to say, my MOHing had not been as good as I had hoped.

In truth, the MOH's main responsibility is to make sure she leaves herself open to helping the bride whenever possible and plans a really kick-ass shower and bachelorette party that spotlight the bride and give her a chance to relax. So, all in all, I wasn't doing too bad for not having done much.

We solidifed a date for the shower and decided to also do the bachelorette party that same night once the shower was over. Good plan. It worked for me, and we'd make it work great for her too. I started throwing the tenative details around, and with some help from my fellow maids, have finally gotten most of the specifics nailed down.

But, I tell you what. I think I'm going through some sort of "wedding withdrawl." Here's why:

I wake up in the middle of the night because I'm obsessing about getting the shower perfect and I have panicky thoughts that I've forgotten something crucial. I have made several unnecessary Excel spreadsheets that I eventually scrap because I have come up with "an even better Excel spreadsheet" to do my pratically self-explanatory job.

Basically, I'm a nutjob. A big one.

I was analyzing this yesterday and wondering what the hell was my problem? Because honestly, planning the shower and bachelorette party is nowhere near the headache of planning a wedding, and I haven't felt this way since I was deep in the throes of wedding hysteria. So, why am I treating it like it's the event to beat all events?

In my analysis, I uncovered several possible reasons:

1. I really love my best friend. She's great! And I want to make it a really special day that runs really really smoothly and allows her to relax.
2. I'm anal, and I have problems delegating responsibility (mostly because I've been burned with the whole delegation thing in the past. I will never forgive the slacker in college who read his portion of the presentation directly off of a sheet of paper and who did not bring a visual aid - which was expressly required - and who, therefore, pulled our group grade down to a B from the A it was suppsoed to be. Dick.)
3. I am having "wedding withdrawl." I am coining this phrase to mean: "The symptoms felt by a married woman who, in the face of planning an event of any sort, slips right back into her past wedding planning mode and the idiosyncracies that accompany it."

Pretty good, eh? I think it totally exists, and I think I totally have it. But really, I'm pretty sure that all of the above are true in my case. Making me both really nice and really screwed up mentally. Great.

In spite of all of it, I am pretty damn excited for the whole thing to go down. It should be a fun party. Or at least, it better be...

One last revelation, and this is the one where I cry silently into my palms after my shrieks of horror have finally subsided:

When she asked me to be her MOH, I was the maid of honor.

Now?

I am the MATRON of honor.

Is it wrong that that phrase makes me feel incredibly old? I mean, MATRON?! I feel like I should run out and buy a bonnet and wire-rimmed glasses and start talking exclusively about how expensive everything is and how when I was a kid a movie only cost $3!

Well, I kind of already talk about how movies used to cost $3. I mean, come on! They did! AND now they're like $12, and that's just, well it's ridiculous. Gee golly, gosh darnit! I'm going haul my old married ass over to my rotary phone and place a call to my congressman. $12!? Get serious!