Monday, December 3, 2007

Question Time!

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Hmmm, this is a tough one, because I am a realist at heart and the word "perfect" automatically tips me into "well, nothing's ever perfect" mode.... but, if I had to give a fantasy of a perfect life, it would be very much like the life I live now except I would be much older. I have daydreams about being an older woman who has finished the mundane task of daily work in an office or other scenario, and is able to finish out her life doing the work of her choice. My husband is still there with me, of course, and we live in this small, cottage-like home in the middle of a young forest. Light spills into our yard in bright patches between the trees. I am sitting and reading in a big, comfy chair with a cup of tea, and I am waiting for our children to come home and visit. Sometimes, in this dream I am also painting. Oh! And the most important part: There is a barn, a paddock, and horses.

Maybe it's silly. But that thought always makes me completely happy and at complete peace.

2. What is your greatest fear?

I am absoultely terrified of seeing the people I love hurt. I have especially intense nightmares about them being threatened and hurt right in front of me and I can do nothing to stop it. One of my most intense and terrifying dreams has to do with someone dropping my dog off of a building that I can see from my office window. It makes me physically ill.

3. Which living person do you most admire?

Perhaps it is cliche, but I most admire my mother and father. They have both demonstrated to me the truth of human weakness and the diffcult road of overcoming and forgiving those weaknesses. I endeavor to be as much like them as I can.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

How easily I become irritated.

5. What is the trait you most deplore in others?


6. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Chastity - I honestly don't believe that sex (if approached with the right reference point) is a distractor or an evil of any sort. When used appropriately, I think that sex can deepen our realtionships and provide a key communication between people in love.

7. On what occasion do you lie?

I try only to lie when I am protecting someone's feelings. But occasionally, I have been known to tell little white lies to protect myself or avoid embarassment... it is another one of my less than admirable qualities.

8. What do you dislike most about your appearance?

I'm chubby right now, and it's not very much fun. I believe I am actually the heaviest I've ever been right now. I certainly looked more awkward in high school (during the chubby, awkward phase) but as an adult, this is definitely the heaviest I've think I've been... so, I just signed up today for the pride-shattering experience of my work's "Fit Club." It's a competition between offices to see which team of 2-5 can lose the biggest percentage of weight from Jan-June of next year. Husband and I are both signed up, so my weight will soon be known and I will be working hard to vanquish it quickly - there's cash involved too! Bonus! :)

9. What is your greatest regret?

Although I agree that regret is a worthless trick we play on ourselves, I can honestly say that I do have one true regret: My grandmother died when I was in high school, and I never really got to know her at all. She suffered a stroke when I was very young, and forever after she walked very slowly and spoke even slower. Her entire right side was basically paralyzed, so she had to re-learn how to write with her left hand (which resulted in child-like handwriting that I never understood as a kid). I had the patience of a child, and I never slowed down enough to sit and talk with her. The most heartbreaking moment surrounding her death for me came well after the funeral had ended: my other Grandma brought her up one day in conversation, and briefly mentioned how much my grandmother used to make her laugh. "She was funny?" I immediately asked. And my Grandma looked at me with great intensity and said, "Oh yes, I've never in my life met anyone who could put a stitch in my side the way Goldie could." I went to my room and cried for a long while. I never even heard her tell one joke. I really knew nothing about her. Since then, I have made it a personal goal to ask my Dad many questions about her and her life. She was an extraordinary woman, and I honestly regret that I did not know that when she was still here with us.

10. What or who is the greatest love of your life?

This one's easy! MY HUSBAND. He is my one true love. I suspect though, that if we are blessed with children, they will also be the true loves of my life... we'll see. :)

11. Which talent would you most like to have?

Oh, how I wish I could play the piano! I'd give anything to be able to play like Ben Folds.

12. What is your current state of mind?

I feel pretty good. I'm happy and successful and my marriage is wonderful. I do, however, feel I'm on the verge of a new phase of life - it's time to get really healthy! So, I feel hopeful and motivated too. :)

13. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I would be able to take things less seriously and be a little less sensitive.

14. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

I don't think I really have one yet. I suppose the closest I feel I've come is climbing out of depression. I was in a really bad place a couple of years back, and I have been able to stay (mostly) in the light ever since.

15. If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?

I don't know. I'd probably choose a creature that does not have to deal wih human issues and interaction. I'd be something simple. Like an owl.

16. What is your most treasured possession?

My wedding ring.

17. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Losing sight of your priorities and turning your back on your family and friends. It is only in the lowest places that we could believe that isolation from those who love us is the right choice.

18. Where would you like to live?

Wyoming. It is still the most beautiful place I have ever been.

19. What is your most marked characteristic?

Kindness, sensitivity, humility and a bit of forgetfulness. :)

20. Who are your favorite writers?

1. Kurt Vonnegut - He is my absolute, hands-down favorite. His writing really makes sense to me.

2. JD Salinger - The Catcher in the Rye changed my life.

There are many others as well, but those two have touched me most in my short time.

21. Who is your favorite hero of fiction?

Holden Caulfield.

There were days when I swore we were the same person in spite of our sex.

22. Who are your heroes in real life?

I am inspired by my family. I consider my sisters and parents to be the number one heroes of mine. But, I also truly find my husband to be my hero. He really saved me. I cannot ever thank him enough for that.

23. What is it that you most dislike?

Abuse. I am hateful towards people who can knowingly, and cruelly hurt other people or animals. I am especially sensitive about this and will not hesitate should I ever be presented with the opportunity to save an animal or person from their abuser. I find it an absolutely selfish and inhuman thing to do and my rage is quick when I witness it.

24. What's your motto?

I don't have one. I guess it's sort of, "Be kind" or "Be polite"...

If I remembered it, I'd put down the girl scout promise (or whatever is was called), but right now my mind is totally blank aside from the "Wilderness Girl" oath from Troop Beverly Hills - which is close, but no cigar.

25. Favorite Journey?

Traveling by horseback through the Rock Mountains in Wyoming. I'll never forget it.

26. What do you value most in your friends?

Kindness, understanding, sense of humor, and an ability to laugh easily and take life lightly.

27. Which words or phrases do you must overuse?

I say the word "totally" way too often. Not really in a valley girl way, I just use it a lot.

I also am often caught using the phrase "P.S." in conversation quite frequently. I substitute it for "by the way" and quite enjoy saying it. :)

28. Which historical figure do you most identify with?

Beatrix Potter - I read her stories as a little girl, and then wrote a paper on her in high school. She had an imagination that ran her world as a child, and I did as well. I felt as if we would have been friends had we not lived in different times and countries.

29. What is your greatest extravagance?

Beauty products, and wine.

30. If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?

I would make us all live in the same neighborhood, instead of in three different states, so that we could see each other whenever we like!

31. What is your favorite occupation?

I like cooking. But when I can choose my profession and have my education completed, I will be a teacher. :)

32. What is the quality you most like in a woman?


33. What is the quality you most like in a man?


34. How would you like to die?

Dying in my sleep would be ideal, but if that's not possible, I'd like to go suddenly and not know that I was going to die. Surprise me God, ok?

35. If you could chose what to come back as, what would it be?

I'd like to come back as my dog. No joke! He has the best life. He just sleeps and eats and gets petted and played with. I'd be glad to trade places with him.


midwest princess said...

this is a very profound and moving questionnaire! i am glad that you are happy. :) good luck with the dieting, i need to do the same.