Thursday, May 8, 2008

MIA in Minneapolis


Aloha from the great state of Minnesota!

I've been here for three days. And I'm ready to go home. It's nice and everything, but three days away from Husband is difficult for me. Three days away from home and my dogs and all my stuff... it sucks, to be honest.

But, tomorrow, my ship sails! Well, really it'll be a plane, but it will be heading toward the great state of Illinois (home to world-class democrat, and my personal choice for el presidente: Barack Obama) and the fabulous city of Chicago (which, God love it, is one of the only cities still TOTALLY run by the mafia. Love it).

It can't come soon enough!

Oh, and what is it with people in Minneapolis being total A-Holes while driving!? I mean, I know how to drive in a big city, but this place is like an endless parade of complete mean-faces on the freeway. Don't get me wrong, everyone is perfectly nice (in that reliable Midwestern way that I love and adore) outside of their cars. But, magically, when they step inside their Toyota Camrys(would you spell the plural of Camry as "camries"? No way. It looks too weird like that - and PS there are like a bazillion of those damn cars in this place!) they all suddenly become rabid, shithead assfaces! I've been almost hit several times while trying to change lanes in traffic, and no one waves to say thanks when you let them in, and it's all a big mess.


Good thing I don't live here, because apparently it would require that I become a jerky driver, and I am staunchly against that. Staunchly.

Doesn't staunchly sound like a really good name for a mean, fat, sidekick character in a movie? Like a cartoon or something?

Just a thought.

So long twin cities! I'll be back later. Gators.

Mean, bad-driving gators with big chips on their "driving shoulders."