Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Vacation Situation

Well, dear readers, in less than one week, I will be here:

And then, here:

And I am totally excited. Husband and I will be traveling with his parents and another couple to the expansive frontier of the West. We are anxiously awaiting our departure this weekend, and I am trying my best to fend off any creeping sense of anxiety. It always happens, but I'm trying to control it as best as I can.

Am I alone here? I know a lot of people get nervous when they leave the house, but I feel almost ill whenever I lock the door and leave our pups behind to go out of town. Even though I am excited for the trip and know that it will be wonderful, I still have these overwhelming feelings of fear that something will go wrong and I will not be there to help or stop it.

It's possible I should be medicated. Very possible.

But I just can't bring myself to do it. I have taken medication for depression before, but have since learned that my depressive tendencies are almost purely situational, and because of that, I am not a prime candidate for medical help. But, this anxiety thing seems to be happening more and more frequently, and I am having trouble controlling it on my own.

I despise feeling powerless. And this damn issue makes me feel that way. I feel terrified and nervous. I feel like I want to miss the fun and turn around and go home. I feel like all the precautions I have taken are not enough. I feel sure that our house will burn down and the boys will be stuck inside. I just feel like crap.

Any tips? As I said before, I know that this is a common feeling when people are going on vacation, so maybe someone out there has some advice or a similar experience to share... if not, that's ok too. I have left town before, and can do it again. I guess I'm just wishing that it would be a bit easier.

On a much happier note: I am actually supremely pumped for this trip and am confident that once we land in fabulous Las Vegas I will be ready to flay my wallet and drop some cashola on the old roulette wheel. Who knows, maybe I'll even win something. Or I'll just jinx myself by blogging about winning something and come home poor.

PS: I have also decided that in addition to my successful bringing back of the word "rad" (Successful is defined here as, "I use it regularly and get weird looks/reactions") I am going to be endeavoring to bring back the phrase "Sufferin' Succotash."

Yeah, I'm rad. Spread it around.